If we can't make a two-year-old obey basic commands, the next sixteen years of that child's life and ours will be pure torture." Foster W. Cline, M.D. & Jim Fay, Child Development specialists, Parenting With Love & Logic, p. 136. Ellen G. White's comments are in accord. "Education begins with the infant in its mother's arms.... Before he is old enough to reason, he may be taught to obey...At a very early age children can comprehend what is plainly and simply told them, and, by and judicious management, can be taught to obey." Child Guidance, pp. 26, 82, 83.

"When children are eleven to thirteen months.., they are old enough to learn the same things we teach our dog--that is, follow the commands: 'come, sit, go, no, stay.' We call this 'Basic German Shepherd.'" Cline & Fay, p. 136.

Dr. James Dobson tells of a couple who were desperate. "Daughter, Jane, three years old, was running the home. One day they saw Dr. Dobson's book: The New Dare to Discipline on sale at a local bookstore. So, following his counsel, the next time little Jane defied them, they gave her some healthy swats on her posterior. The next morning they found Dr. Dobson's book in the toilet. These parents had a real battle ahead of them.

Children are like soft cement --capable of being molded. Dr. Kevin Leman says, "A child's personality, life plan, and life-style are 85 to 95 per cent formed by age five. By age seven it's all over and the grain of the wood is completely set." Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing Them Down, p. 213.

What about spanking? "Whipping may be necessary when other resorts fail, yet she should not use the rod if it is possible to avoid doing so. But if milder measurers prove insufficient, punishment that will bring the child to its senses should in love be administered. Frequently one such correction will be enough for a lifetime, to show the child that he does not hold the lines of control." Child Guidance, p. 250.

Sally was three years old. When asked to pick up her toys, she invariably would ask, "Why?" After asking her three times and there was still no movement, her mother calmly picked Sally up, took her to the toys, got down with her on the floor and said, "Let's pick up the toys." By this simple act she disciplined her daughter. She had begun a training process.

Larry, six years old, often forgets to do his chores--feed the dog, sweep the drive way, and take out the garbage. Dad decided to try a different tactic: "Larry, I am not going to remind you to do your chores any more. You have two choices--either pay me 50 cents each time you forget or forfeit your TV privilege for two nights."

Dr. Leman says, "'Treat children in a way that you expect them to behave and chances are they will behave exactly that way'... Holding healthy, reasonable, and reachable expectations is an excellent way to give your children opportunities to please you and build their self-image and sense of self-worth." Leman, p. 222.

If a young child (18 months) is obnoxious, ask her once to stop the noise. Speak calmly but firmly, using eye contact. Then, if no action, pick the child up, put her in a corner and say, "Now, stay here in this corner until you can play quietly!" This process may be hard on your ears, but is the best way to teach. If the child moves out of the corner, firmly put her back and say, "Stay!" When the child is older, move him or her to a nearby room where you can keep an eye on your child. You can change behavior by changing locations.

Keeping clothes picked up and put away is a real trial to most five-year-olds. Try this: "Would you rather pick up your clothes and hang them in the closet now, or would you prefer that I pick them up and you pay me 25 cents for each garment that I pick up? I will take it out of your allowance."

"The object of discipline is the training of the child for self-government. He should be taught self-reliance and self-control. Therefore as soon as he is capable of understanding, his reason should be enlisted on the side of obedience...The true object of reproof is gained only when the wrongdoer himself is led to see his fault and his will is enlisted for its correction. When this is accomplished, point him to the source of pardon and power." Child Guidance, p. 223.