Chores need not be a pain for children or parents. But, to make it fun you must start early. Dad was sweeping the garage and Tommy, age 4, got his little toy broom and started to "help." "Thank you, Tommy, you are a good helper. You can start over there on the other side and I will work over here." -- "Now, would you get the dust pan and hold it while we sweep up the dirt? You are a very good helper."

Sally, age 6, was watching her mother cook the evening meal. "Can I help you, Mom?" "Sure, I'll get a stool and you can stand here right by me, and I will show you what to do." Larry, age 3, had scattered toys all over the family room floor. "Larry, would you like to play a game with Mother?" "Sure, Mommy, I like playing games with you." "There is a big box there in the corner. You push the box over here to the center of the room and then we'll pick the toys up and put them in the box. I'll put one in the box and then you put the next one in the box. Let's see how fast we can pick the toys up." The job was done in a jiffy.

Yes, it may be easier to sweep the garage, get dinner, or pick up the toys by yourself. But, if you will take the time to teach your children how to help you and make it fun, five years later, they will cheerfully and efficiently clean the garage or cook a meal, as well as you can. Moreover, helping children learn order, neatness, and perseverence will bless them for a lifetime. Nothing can help children develop a healthy sense of self-worth better than experiencing the satisfaction that comes from a job well done.

When children reach kindergarten or first grade, give them some elementary tasks to do around the house, such as cleaning up after themselves, cleaning their rooms, and making their beds. By third grade they should be able to do the dishes, vacuum the floor, dust, sweep the garage, and take out the trash.

Working with them to begin with and visiting with them while you work, and making it fun, is the secret of success. Then you can gradually fade out of the picture. Don't criticize, preach, or be exacting. Supervise, don't hover, be observant, expect the best, but be realistic. Give reasonable deadlines and allow the child to fit the chores into his or her life as much as possible. Avoid such words such as, "right now."

Yes, you can expect some griping and complaining. But at a family meeting explain why all are responsible for the work to be done. "Tom, I know chores can be drudgery. I get bored with my job at work, too. But everyone benefits from my salary. So at home we all have obligations. This is a family firm. We all must do our fair share of chores."

"All right, Karen, I'll do the dishes but I will pay myself out of your allowance." Which would you choose. Or, "Daisy, you may go out to play when your room is clean." Be specific about job descriptions. "Sarah, cleaning your room means first picking up your toys and clothes, and putting them away, then making your bed, vacuuming, and dusting. Then you can stand back and feel good about a job well done."

Be sure to give lots of affirmation and praise. At a family meeting, list all the things that need to be done. Then allow the children to negotiate the tasks. Occasionally let them trade off. Giving a child a task that's too big, will leave him feeling overwhelmed. So jobs should fit the child's ability--physically and mentally. Any chore that requires a great deal of judgment (or continual supervision) is probably not a good one. The child should "own" his or her chore and be able to do it alone without fear, harm, or failure.

Dr. Haim G. Ginott says, "that responsibility cannot be imposed. It can only grow from within, fed and directed by values absorbed at home and in the community...While we wish our children to be responsible persons, we want their responsibility to spring from ultimate values.... Children who are always told what to do...have little opportunity to exercise judgment,..and to develop inner standards." Between Parent and Child, p. 80. So give children lots of choices in their chores.

Note these words from the book, Child Guidance: "From infancy children should be trained to do those things which are appropriate for their age and ability....Teach your children to be useful, to bear burdens according to their years; then the habit of laboring will become second nature to them, and useful work will never seem like drudgery....Allow them to help you in every way they can, and show them that you appreciate their help. Let them feel that they are a part of the family firm....Let us teach them that innocent pleasure is never half so satisfying as when it follows active industry." Child Guidance, pp. 122, 126, 127.