Think back on your childhood for a few moments; what memories stand out? I was talking with my grown son about his memories of childhood. "Dad, it was the good times we had together that I remember--waterskiing at the lake, snowskiing in the mountains in the winter, a Halloween party when I was ten years old." The closeness we enjoy with our children in later years relates directly to the fun times we had with them when they were children. We also had happy times--working together in the yard and the garden, bedtime rituals, including story time and especially Friday evening worships when we always sang, "With Jesus In the Family, Happy, Happy Home."

Rudolf Dreikurs, M.D., a renowned child psychiatrist, says that, "parents are so deeply concerned with providing the best for their children that they neglect to join them....It is up to the parents to foster an atmosphere of solidarity through play....The child desperately needs this form of participation. The play hour can become the focal point for harmony and understanding between parents and children.... A definite time for family play can become part of the daily routine." Children: the Challenge, pp. 282, 283.

I remember playing ball in the back yard with my boys. The youngest--about three years old-- was batting. I pitched the ball in a way to permit success. Of course, I never criticized a bad play or a missed ball. I shouted encouragement all along. I recall one ball game: I was pitching and the oldest boy hit a slammer--right through the neighbor's shed window. The youngest hit the dirt with spasms of laughter! Of course, it turned serious when we thought about responsibility to our neighbor. There were lessons to be learned, of course, but no censure. (After that we played in a vacant lot near by.)

Dr. Dreikurs says, "What people enjoy together brings them together. Through games and projects in which all enjoy the fun, a feeling of group solidarity develops. Solidarity is essential for the equality it promotes and for the relaxed and harmonious atmosphere that can become a part of family living." Ibid. p. 285.

It is the strong family bond with parents of high moral values that keep teens from caving in to negative peer pressure. As one teen said, "No, I can't do that. I'm not going to disappoint my Mom and Dad." I remember my teen years. It was my loyalty to my Mother that held me steady when temptations were strong.

Children need many things: firm, kind discipline, unconditional love, well defined limits. But they also need happy times. I recall life at home with my two older teenage sisters. My mother believed in the proactive method of controlling teens. She was always planning parties and gatherings at home. The young people thoroughly enjoyed the games, the popcorn, and the apple cider on Saturday nights. I don't see how my mother stood up under all the pressures. But, somehow, she made it and her children loved and respected her. This is how she shielded her children from temptation. Of course, there were the routine family worships, study of the Sabbath school lesson, and always work to do--having fun together.

Gardening can also be lots of fun. "Take the kids into the garden this spring and give them something to do. Children warm quickly to the pleasures of gardening because it gets them outside and playing in the dirt, two things they instinctively relish. If you have kids design your garden with them in mind, too...A lifetime of gardening may start with a potato sprouting on the kitchen counter...You can't predict what the spark will be, so give your children plenty of opportunities to discover gardening. Give them a spot or a pot they can call their own, and start while they're young; even pre-schoolers are natural gardeners, if a little clumsy." Marty Ross, The Oregonian, Feb. 28, 1997.

"Let the children be given little pieces of land to cultivate...Let them feel that they are a part of the family firm...Let us teach them that innocent pleasure is never half so satisfying when it follows active industry." Child Guidance, pp. 126, 127. Parents should come "into social relation with their children...and... manifest an interest in all their efforts, and even in their sports, sometimes even being a child among them, they would make the children very happy and would gain their love and win their confidence." Ibid, p. 265.

Jesus loved to be with children. "He enjoyed their happiness...(and) found rest and peace in the society of innocent children. His presence never repulsed them." Ibid, p. 265.

So, if you would build happy childhood memories, plan fun times. But the fun should include you. It's the bonding that is so important and, of course, that takes time. Remember, children spell LOVE -- T-I-M-E.