REVISED 2005

Logical Consequences: An Alternative to Corporal Punishment

"Whipping may be necessary when other resorts fail, yet she should not use the rod if it is possible to avoid doing so. . . Frequently one such correction will be enough for a lifetime, to show the child that he does not hold the lines of control." Child Guidance, p. 250.

This counsel is in accord with the best in current literature in correcting childhood misbehavior. Yes, misbehavior has consequences. This is one of the most important lessons of life. The purpose of discipline is discipleship and this involves an intelligent choice.

A recent study showed that 80% of U.S. parents used physical punishment during 1982. (Associated Press, August 25, 1990.) And why do people spank? Because it usually works--especially for young children. It tends to make them passive, compliant, quiet, and often withdrawn.

Hitting, frequently sends the wrong message. It drastically alleviates guilt feelings. When a child is whipped he feels he has paid the price and his guilt is gone. Later, especially during the adolescent years, these children will need the inner controls of conscience and guilt. Corporal punishment may prevent the child from learning to make his own decisions and adapting his own rules for behavior.

But, disobedience cannot be tolerated. "No parent or teacher who has at heart the well-being of those under his care will compromise with the stubborn self-will that defies authority . . ." Child Guidance, p. 236. Remember, the object of discipline is self-government. There are times when corporal punishment is necessary--especially for young children who are defiant. (Teenagers should never be spanked.)

NATURAL AND LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES

This method, according to Don Dinkmeyer and Gary D. McKay, has many advantages over reward and punishment. "First, it holds children, not their parents, responsible for their behavior. Second, it allows children to make their own decisions about what courses of action are appropriate. Third, it permits children to learn from the (impersonal) natural or social order of events rather than forcing them to comply with the wishes of other persons. The child who refuses to eat goes hungry. The child who insists on not wearing mittens gets cold hands." The Parent's Handbook, p. 71.

For this method to be effective children must see them "as logically related to their misbehavior. In other words, the consequences must 'fit' the behavior in a logical way." Ibid., p. 72.

SOME STEPS IN APPLYING CONSEQUENCES

Provide choices. For instance: "Sally, we're trying to watch TV. You may settle down and watch the program with us or leave the room. You decide which you'd rather do."

Late for meals: Most parents will call several times, lecture, feed them anyway after everyone has finished. Better: Allow the children to be responsible for getting themselves to the table. Explain that the meal will be served at a specific time and that you will call them once and its up to them to decide whether or not to come. If they miss the meal they go without food until the next meal.

Don, eleven years old, has been asked repeatedly to put his bicycle in the garage. But he forgets and leaves it on the driveway. Father comes in limping one evening because in the dark he fell over the bicycle. "What's the matter, Dad?" "I fell over your bicycle in the dark and hurt my knee. I'm too angry to talk about this now." (ONE HOUR LATER.) "Don, I want to talk to you about responsibility. Do you remember where you are to keep your bicycle? This time there will be consequences." "Dad, I'm sorry. I'll never leave my bike out again." "Which would you prefer: to write a three-page theme on responsible care of the bicycle, or have your bicycle locked up for three days?"

Waiting for one hour before discussing the issue gives Don's conscience a chance to work. Writing a theme about responsible care of a bicycle or taking the bicycle away for three days is obviously a logical consequence of the misbehavior.

Provide choices and accept the child's decision. Use a friendly tone of voice that communicates your love. As you follow through with a consequence, assure the child that God will help him to do better if he will ask Him. Pray with and for your child. Be patient. It will take time for natural and logical consequences to be effective, but it will pay big dividends.