REVISED 2004

Parents: The Key to Education

"What's the trouble, Mike?" asked Mother. "You look so sad." Ten-year-old Mike took his report card from his backpack and handed it to his mother. He stared at the floor. At that moment Mike's father walked into the room and asked to see the report card. "Why can't you do well like your sister, Marie?" he asked. "Try harder," he said, as he walked out of the room.

Mike's mother talked to the teacher and did some reading. That evening she said to Mike, "You think that Marie is smarter than you, is that right?" "Ya," he said. "I feel dumb compared to her." "Well," replied Mother, "before you give up on school, let's talk. Reading is your big problem, isn't it?" "Yes, Mom, that's right." "Well, Marie once had a hard time, and even I had difficulty in school now and then. Let's see your reading assignment for tomorrow." She took down the big dictionary and showed Mike how to look up words. The next day she purchased a small Junior Dictionary that he could keep in his room. Mike wanted to do better and he knew now how to get started. Since he realized he wasn't the only person to have problems, he became confident enough to try. His next report card showed improvement.

Many children fail in school because they are discouraged. "It is impossible to motivate children to learn complicated tasks or to reach goals that are difficult for them unless they know they are loved. Parents need to provide love, warmth, and affection before children will develop the assurance to take on new problems and try out new things." Janice T. Gibson, Discipline Is Not A Dirty Word, p. 78.

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Get involved in your children's school program. Attend PTA meetings, get acquainted with their teachers.
2. Talk to your children about school. Ask, "How are things going in math? . . ." Talk with them about things they are interested in.
3. Take control of the TV. Limit viewing to one-half hour a day on school nights and not more than 2 hours a day on weekends. And no TV in your child's room under 15. Watching television tends to shorten the attention span.
4. Have books, newspapers, and magazines around the house. Read together as a family.
5. Remember that homework is not a negotiable item. Homework reinforces what they have covered in school. It will raise their grades, teach them responsibility, and self-discipline.

Sharon Sheppard shares some tips for taking the hassles out of homework:

Allow your child some time to unwind after school. A break and a healthful snack will help with concentration.

Agree on the rules. When and where will homework be done? What will happen if the assignments aren't finished.

Set a minimum amount of time each day for studying. For example, multiply the child's grade by 10 minutes--a fourth-grader should study 40 minutes a night.

Set up a quiet, well-lighted work area. Be sure to equip it with the necessary supplies and resources.

Help your child keep a homework log of assignments and a calendar of deadlines. Note longer projects on the calendar to avoid hasty last-minute discoveries of a project due the next day.

Don't focus unduly on performance. The outcome counts but so does the process of learning.

Encourage independence. Don't do your child's homework for him or her, but be available for consultation.

(Taken from "Homework Without Hassles At Home," Focus on the Family, p. 11.

Dr. Haim Ginott says, "From the first grade on, parents' attitudes should convey that homework is strictly the responsibility of the child and his teacher." Between Parent and Child, p. 90. Many parents hover over children and nag them about their homework. This can destroy the peace of the home. Yes, you will have to remind them. It helps to have rules. "Tom, you know the rules: Homework comes right after dinner. No games or TV until homework is completed. I will be happy to help you if you get stuck, but homework is your responsibility. Ginott comments on the value of homework: "The main value of homework is that it gives children the experience of working on their own. . . The child's homework should not be interrupted by questions and errands that can wait." Ibid, p. 91.

Threats and nagging do more harm than good. Often children underachieve in school as a way of asserting their independence. As one child said, 'They can take away the TV and the allowance, but they cannot take away my failing grades.'" Ibid, pp. 93, 94. So avoid getting emotionally involved in your children's grades.

Encouragement is a great motivator. "You have many talents, Ellen; I believe in you. Do your best."

"Many children, for want of words of encouragement and a little assistance in their efforts, become disheartened . . .They fail to make a success of anything they engage in, for they have not been taught to persevere under discouraging circumstances." Child Guidance, p. 128.