Marital Self Evaluation
This exercise is designed to help you take your marital pulse.
Is your marriage in great shape, in need of a conditioning program, or in
need of a respirator? To find out, follow these simple steps.
Step 1: Complete the following questionnaire
by circling the number on each continuum that best represents how you feel
about your marriage. Do this without assistance from your spouse. This is
your opinion about your relationship. [The accompanying questions are for
clarification and later discussion.]
Taking the pulse of your marriage
1. How close do you feel to your spouse?
[Is this a consistent feeling? Have you ever felt closer or more distant?
What has happened to change things?]
2. How much time and energy are you and your spouse
directly investing into your marriage?
[Who or what gets more of your time and energy? Who or what gets more of
3. What is the quality level of the time you do
[Are these intimate times of sharing and caring? Or are these only recreational
and social experiences? Have you lost touch?]
4. Do you have intimate conversation?
[Do you talk about what is going on inside of you (feelings, desires, concerns)?
Or do you only talk about superficial matters (other people, problems, family
5. To what extent do you really feel cared for
in your marriage?
[How is caring demonstrated? How is caring not demonstrated? What do you
want/need in this relationship?]
|Not cared for
||Greatly cared for
|40-50 Great shape
|Total points ________
||20-39 Needs conditioning program
||0-19 Needs respirator
Step 2: Exchange your questionnaires.
Are your spouses answers what you anticipated?
Step 3: Beginning with Question #1,
discuss your responses with your spouse. Use the following questions as
- How much difference/similarity is there in how we perceive our relationship?
- Are we satisfied with the results or do we want things to be different?
- What can we do to improve the areas that need work? Do we need a plan?
There are many resources available for enhancing marriage, regardless
of the current shape. Some are listed on the resources
page on LoveTakesTime.com.
Love Takes Time Seminar - Experience a romantic weekend of passion,
intimacy and commitment at The Inn at Eagle Crest Resort. February
14-16, 2003. For information call 503-654-6054, or email Harvey
& Kathy Corwin.