Her Needs – For Men Only

Discussion on The Irresistible Man (Passage in "His Needs, Her Needs," by Willard F. Harley, Jr. p. 176.)

A woman needs:

1. Affection (hugs, words, flowers, cards, gifts, kisses, common courtesies). Affection is the environment in which to grow a good marriage.
2. Intimate conversation. Talking on the feeling level with sensitivity, interest, and concern. The husband should desire to understand her but not change her.
3. Honesty and openness. He should look her in the eye, and tell her what he really thinks. He should be transparent in every part of his life.
4. Financial support. It is his responsibility to house, feed, and clothe his family. If his income is insufficient to support his wife adequately, he does not feel sorry for himself. Instead he looks for concrete ways to increase his earnings by upgrading his skills.
   He can sit down with his wife to determine how to make better use of what income they have and how to lower their standard of living, if necessary, in order to raise their marriage to a safer and more fulfilling level.
5. Family commitment. He commits his time and energy to the moral and intellectual development of the children. For example, he reads to them, he plays sports with them, and takes them on outings. He does not play the fools game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while his children and spouse languish in neglect.
   In reading a parent magazine, l saw a graph of how children see their parents during different times in their lives. It showed that Mom plays a vital role during the pre-adolescent years. But when they enter the teen years, they look to Dad as the major role model.
   Problems arise when the father hits mid-life and he may begin to deal with job and marital discontentment. It's called mid-life crisis. Unfortunately in many homes, divorce and drastic environmental changes occur right when the children need their father the most.
   The father, in many cases, has moved from his children's home and the teenager is left devastated. Fathers, l urge you to hang in there during this time of your child's life. They need you. Your wife needs you!
   The graph goes on to show that after the children reach approximately 20 years of age, both Mom and Dad are seen as important role models.

Other qualities a woman wants in a man:

Spiritual

1. Share same religious background.
2. Christian morals & values.
3. Put's God first & leads out spiritually for the family, church, and community. Spiritual means “a personal relationship with God.”
4. Holds fast to convictions.

Mental

1. Aggressive, determined, decisive, enthusiastic creative, independent, generous, confident, humble and able to ask for forgiveness.
   
2. Courageous in facing crisis situations and able to solve problems.
   
3. Hard worker, provider, handles finances.
   
4. Happy, humorous, fun in the home environment.
   
5. Sympathetic, understanding, open communicator, patient.
   
6. Respectful to all women. A man who is secure, can give good eye contact when talking to a woman.

Physical

1. Well groomed and clean (hair, nails, teeth).
   
2. Healthy (exercise, good diet, strong body).
   
3. Romantic on dates, expressive of love.

Assignment: Men, ask your wife how you can better meet her needs.

Instructors: Close by encouraging the men:

These goals may seem overwhelming. We can't be perfect. My husband encouraged me by saying, "You don't have to be perfect, l only care that you're growing and changing." Isn't that all God wants us to do?